Braver
by ProcrastinatingPalindrome
Summary: Bolin struggles with his fears and insecurities on the quest to find Korra, and the former police chief helps him find some courage. Implied Borra.


Korra was fine. She was going to be just fine. They'd all see, just as soon as they found her. She had probably already escaped and made it back home, or maybe she had beaten up the kidnappers, knocked their teeth out, and was just cheerfully sitting there next to their unconscious bodies, waiting for her friends to show up. Korra was the toughest girl around. She was the strongest, the smartest, the best. She was going to be fine, and if Bolin said that to himself often enough then surely he'd finally start to believe it.

He tried to focus on that thought as the group made their way through the dark, repeat it like a mantra to keep the creeping anxiety at bay. He couldn't rely on Mako for his usual comforting words and reassurance; Mako always got tunnel vision when he was worried about someone, and now that he was worried about Korra he could think of no one else. Bolin had heard stories about that from the people he had grown up with on the streets, how Mako could think of nothing else, no one else, when Bolin was in trouble or sick or lost or hurt. It was hard to notice that when you were on the receiving end of Mako's focus, but it was so simple to see when you were no longer in his sights, when he forgot you for someone else.

It wasn't fair to blame Mako for this, Bolin knew. Korra was the one who needed all the worry and attention, but he couldn't help but wish that his brother would slow down just a little bit and walk next to him and tell him everything would be fine like he always used to. There was no one to hold his hand and comfort him now. Mako was out of the question and Asami seemed too lost in her own head to bother with him. He had to deal with it on his own, but it was getting harder and harder to stay positive, not when he kept imagining Korra hurt and far away…and him helpless to do anything for her.

He had poured so much of his focus into fighting back panic that he failed to notice Chief Beifong was right in front of him until he walked square into her back.

"Pay attention to where you're going, kid," she said. Her voice was stern, but there was no anger there. "We aren't out of the woods yet, and you need to keep your wits about you."

"Right, right!" he said hastily, trying to put his usual easy smile in place. It felt fake and forced, so he quickly let it drop. "Sorry, Chief Beifong."

"I'm not a chief anymore." She glanced away, and he saw a flash of wistfulness cross her expression.

"Oh…right. So…what am I supposed to call you?"

"Lin is fine for now."

"No way, I can't call you that! You're too…important and tough and stuff!"

The corner of her mouth twitched in what he hoped was a smile. "Fine then. You can keep calling me chief, if that is easier for you."

"You got it, chief!"

She arched an eyebrow at the forced cheer in his voice. "Did you ever get around to taking a piss?"

The blood immediately rushed back to Bolin's face, spreading the blush up to his ears. It was bad enough she had zipped his pants up for him. Why did she have to bring it up again? "Um. Y-yeah. I, uh…took care of that earlier."

She nodded once, as clipped and precise as everything about her was. "Good. You don't need any physical issues like that distracting you if we run into any Equalists. There will probably be more trouble ahead for us, and we need you to be ready and focused."

"Oh, you guys don't need me."

The words had slipped out of his mouth before he realized it, and Lin immediately slammed on the breaks, turning sharply to face him. "What does that mean?"

Bolin paused, faltering. He hadn't planned on saying that ugly thought out loud, and he certainly wasn't prepared to explain it. "I-it means what I said? I mean, you and Mr. Tenzin and Asami are really tough, and Mako is…is really capable and focused on getting stuff done, and I'm just…" He trailed off unable to finish. He was nothing, at least next to everyone else. He was the goofy one, the little brother forever, never the one anyone relied on or really needed for anything. Dead weight. A burden. Average at best. There is was, the ugliest thought in his head, the one that usually only reared its head at the darkest parts of the night.

The chief folded her arms, clearly unsatisfied with his sloppy answer. "What are you so afraid of? You're terrified and that's going to distract you at a crucial moment if you don't address this problem."

Bolin inhaled sharply. "How…how did you know I was scared? Did you to that… earth sense thingy like your mom could do, where you feel my vibrations that tell you…uh…"

The chief gave a short bark of a laugh and shook her head. "Your knees are shaking. It's not difficult to tell that you're shaken up."

"Oh," he said weakly as his face began to color again. Mako's knees probably weren't shaking. Mako was worried too, but he dealt with it by focusing on the goal of getting Korra back. He didn't freeze up or fall behind. It was no wonder Korra liked him better.

"How could I not be scared?" he muttered, feeling terribly small and young. "The girl I lo-…my best friend is in trouble and I can't do anything. I mean, I'm just following along while Mako and everybody else takes care of the important stuff, like always. I'm not…I-I don't get all fired up and passionate like he does when things get bad. I just get scared. I'm…" His voice broke slightly as the truth finally bubbled to the surface. "I'm so scared that Korra's hurt o-or worse. I'm trying not to think about it, but I can't help it, and then I get so scared that I can't even think straight." He forced out a laugh, closing his eyes to hide the building moisture there. "I'm useless in a crisis, alright?"

He nearly jumped out of his skin when Lin's hand suddenly came down on his head, ruffling his hair. He hadn't thought of steely Chief Beifong as the hair-ruffling type, and the surprise momentarily froze him in place.

"You aren't useless. You are young and inexperienced and lacking in confidence, just like we all were once." Her voice wasn't soft or gentle, but somehow her comfort carried more weight with the iron behind it. "I spent much of my younger years beating myself up because I could never be the earthbender my mother was. Eventually I realized that comparing myself to anyone else was pointless. You'll come to understand that too. You aren't your brother and you certainly aren't me. You are you, and that is the only thing you should focus upon."

Bolin looked up at her through damp eyes and wondered if he had never really looked at her before. "But I can't-"

And then the chief slapped him. It wasn't a hard slap, not all that painful, but it was more than enough to shock him into silence. "Didn't I just tell you to stop that garbage?"

"Yes ma'am," he squeaked, hoping that was the correct answer. He didn't want to be slapped again.

The chief's eyes softened then, just a bit. "I don't know you that well yet, kid, but I know you've got a good heart in there. That counts for more than you can ever imagine. You don't need to be a leader like your brother. Focus on your own strengths and work to develop them. And don't you dare tell me you don't have any."

Bolin dropped his gaze. How was he supposed to respond to that? "I just wish I could do more for Korra," he said softly. "I-I _love_ her." His face burned at the confession, but he had already spilled his guts enough. One more bit shouldn't have made a different, but it still set his stomach flip-flopping as soon as the words left his mouth.

Lin did smile then, not just a smirk or a quirk of her mouth. "I know, kid. Trust me, I know what that's like." She shook her head, as though to clear away the memories, and began walking again towards the rest of the group up ahead. "We're going to save Avatar Korra," she said firmly. "Don't even let yourself think about the 'what-ifs'. We're going to find her. Now pick up your feet and get a move on. You're a part of this rescue party too."

Bolin stared at her back for just a moment before he jogged ahead to keep up with her. The fear was still there, clenching at his chest, but walking side by side with Lin Beifong made him feel braver. Just a tiny, teensy bit braver, but maybe that was all he needed.


End file.
